0 comments I hate college. Nothing has ever made me feel worse about myself. It's like, the most important thing in my life so far, and it so happens that now is the time where I really can't do anything right. Millions of people do this every year, why do I have to fuck up so much? My self esteem is so low, I just can't stand to be myself. I want an escape from this life. I keep wondering over and over if it's worth it, if it will pay off in the end. I wonder if I can ever manage to make it through. If I'll ever stop making stupid mistakes.

Suicide has never been so appealing, if I'm going to be brutally honest. I don't think it's something I'll ever do but I think about it more and more, after every day that passes that I have to deal with this guilt that's completely my fault and that keeps adding on more and more. And just when I think it's going to get better, I make it worse.

I was never the best at anything, but I was never this bad. I was always above average. But not anymore. I don't know what to do.

I don't think anyone cares enough to read this blog, and I don't know if that thought makes me feel more comforted or depressed.