1 comments I was talking to Sarah on IM about something completely different, when she suddenly stopped and goes 'May I tell you something Andrew told me?'
I told her yes, though I was expecting it to be something like him telling her that she didn't need me anymore, or that I was bringing her down in life and I shouldn't complain about her, or something like that.  Just because she was being so unusually polite.  Even though I don't even know if Andrew knows who I am.  I've never heard Sarah mentioning anything to do with me and him in the same sentence.  Maybe I should ask her next time if Andrew knows who her best friend is.
Anyway.  She was typing for a while, then she sent me this long line of text that was basically Andrew telling her that she was the best thing to ever happen to him, she was better than he had ever dreamed, and he wanted nothing more than to hold her.  My first instinct was to be a little grossed out, like when couples babytalk each other or give each other sappy Valentine's gifts.  I've heard of a lot of guys telling her nice things.  It's nothing new, though what Andrew said was nicer than most. 
But besides being grossed out, I was also... really jealous.  No one has ever just randomly taken the time to tell me how much I mean to them, or how great I am, or anything like that.  I'm not trying to sound selfish or like I think I should be complimented.  It would just be nice once in a while, you know?  It's like... one of the things I desire most, but I never get it.  I guess if I was hearing it all the time it might get a little worn out.  But I don't, so I just keep wishing for it.  I really wonder if there's ever going to be a person who thinks that highly of me.  I guess that's really what I'm missing. 
Sarah went on to say that she loves Andrew, like spending-the-rest-of-her-life-with-him love.  I guess I don't doubt that she loves him, but I don't think she can know that she wants to spend the rest of her life with him at this point.  You can get to know a person really, really well online, but you can't know every inch of their being.  You can't know what they're like to be around, how they smell, the way their face moves when they talk, how close they stand to you, how fast they walk, how they stand, or any of that until you meet them in real life. 
I'm not trying to rag on Sarah or her relationship.  I guess it's just jealousy talking.  I'm not mad, or completely emo over it.  It was just something I was thinking about.

When I started this blog I planned on not writing very many emo or whiny blogs... but I guess I'm kind of doing that.  Today wasn't a bad day, really.  My sleep schedule is screwed up again.  But I got up and did what I needed to do- clean the house.  I didn't get everything I wanted to do done- like go out and get school supplies, mail Sarah's gift, read textbooks, be really productive- but I guess there's tomorrow and Sunday and Monday to do that.  I love these long weekends. 
Cleaning isn't too bad.  Once I get into it and devote myself to it, it's kind of calming and satisfying.  The hardest part is getting started.
I also drew today... I've been putting off drawing people for a long time.  Everytime I started I'd get frustrated, but today I kept at it and it turned out alright.  I really want to get this trade for Jen done.  I still have a long way to go, and it'll probably always be pretty messed up, but it was fun anyway.  Not rage inducing like art usually is.  Maybe school can kick me out of my rut.